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So "men are like, It's safe, you like me, let's do this,'" Borg says. When intercourse is off the table, oral sex can become a goal. High schoolers have been taught that intercourse can lead to sexually transmitted infections-but not necessarily that oral sex may too (which it can see "Wait" on next page). Another reason for our casual view of oral sex? Sex education trends since the 1990s, says Sonia Borg, Ph.D., a clinical sexologist and author of Oral Sex He'll Never Forget. Remember the scene in Bridesmaids in which Jon Hamm ribs Kristen Wiig for not giving him a "lap nap"? Or in Knocked Up, when Katherine Heigl asks Seth Rogen what he would want on their second date? "BJ," he says. And it exists: In an Australian survey, 50 percent of women ages 16 to 25 reported that they'd been pressured to give oral sex, and a recent Playboy/Harris Interactive online survey revealed that 23 percent of men wouldn't even date someone if she refused to give it. John's assumption that he'd get a BJ on the third date? You could call it (in a sort of Seinfeld-ian way) the new BJE, or blow job expectation. He walked her to her car, and she never heard from him again. Undeterred, John asked a second time Holly said no. I can only imagine what else you can do with your mouth.'" She was so taken aback that she started laughing: Her halter top and heels littered his floor, but he expected her to give him oral? "That's a boyfriend privilege, and you're not my boyfriend," she replied. A few minutes into making out, recalls Holly, "He tells me, You're such a good kisser. At the end of date number three, they went home together. Just ask Holly,* a 28-year-old sales rep from Houston, about the experience she now refers to as "the incident." Things started out fine: She'd met John, a cute financial broker, on and had been on two low-key dates. Fellatio, blow jobs, going downtown, giving head-we blush a bit just printing the words.
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If you're married to a guy, are living with a guy or have dated a guy anytime this past millennium, it's probably no surprise to you that what guys want more of is oral sex.